So… Moher Man, is it? We can do better then that though, right? How about Paddy the Happy Go Lucky Leprechaun from the small village of Ballygo-aw-sure-aren’t-ya-great-craic-altogether in Co. Cliché?
Only Seven Days Ta’ Go!
Lil’ Aul Ireland.
Cast Yer Vote
Go On Ya Good Thing!
Just 4 reasons why this ad should never have left the repressed brain of the marketard who came up with it. Why stop at that cliché Paddywackery though? Where’s “Top O’ The Morning To Ya!”? Or, “May the Road Rise in Front of You and have the wind always at your back etc, etc?” or “Jaysus Mary, Oim awful sorry Oi bate ya round dah choppers Oi was too busy drinking Guinness, being a stereotypical New York police officer and atin’ a potatoe. Fuck the British!”
If it was any lamer the fucking Ray D’Arcy show would be behind it because, fucking hell, if ever there was an ad written to appeal directly to those people who text into Ray D’Arcy called John in the Truck to Galway and Mary Dancing Around the Kitchen with her Two Year Old, it’s this fucking shit.
Never mind the fact that having a public vote for these things is absolutely idiotic. The public knows nothing, never has, never will. When will people get this? In fact, if you’ve ever voted for A Nation Once Again for Worlds Best Song, or Ronnie O’ Brien for Time Man of the Year thinking “sher wouldn’t it be a mad ‘oul laugh if it won, tiddly idle oh!” then you can be pretty sure that you’re an absolute cretin of the highest order.
This is how science should test for cretinism, actually. I’ve stumbled on a cunning plan. Send an email around to everyone in the country to vote for Johnny Logan (lol!) for the BBC All Time Man of the Ages competition (lolz lolz) because, it’d be like, a laugh and stuff? Plus, you know, fuck the queen and all that. Then, when Seamus from Ballindrinky fills out the form (for he is unable to resist avenging Britains 800 years of oppression of Ireland through the medium of skewing public votes in British survey) an email will be sent to some stern faced scientists who will collate the results. The result being, that Seamus is a cretin.
Then they can go to his house and castrate him or something. I’m not a doctor.